A mama in the darkness

November 17, 2011

Tiny hands explore my face as I rock you with your bottle.

The left one grazes my chin and cheek, searching for a strand of hair to twirl. The right one feels my ear and finds my earring. Usually it twists your own hair, but tonight you want mine.

I hope I always remember their touch, their tiny strokes.

Will there be more someday? Right now it is just me and you, and you have all of me.

Your legs dangle off my lap, not kicking about tonight. Calm, ready for bed. You’re getting so big.

Your warm head, fresh from a bath, nestled in the bend of my left elbow. It fits perfectly.

I rock, you drink. It’s early, but you’re tired already and I can tell it’s time.

The snuffles and grunts as you swallow the last milk of the day soon turn into the slow breaths and little snores of your slumber. Sleep comes easily tonight.

I watch you, breathing in every second and trying to etch the memory in my mind for all time.

I smile down at you in the darkness, your eyelids having fluttered shut for the final time for sleep. Tears well up in my eyes, for I know this era is fleeting.

I don’t want it to go.

They say we have to give this up soon, but not tonight. Not now.

You don’t need to be burped anymore, but I put you on my shoulder when the bottle is done anyway. I love when you sleep up there. You fit.

Your little left hand falls to rest on my left shoulder as you turn yourself around, getting comfortable in your dreams. I kiss it, then your cheek as I lay you in your crib. Face down, knees pulled in underneath you, bottom up in the air. Your favorite position.

I love you. Every piece of you. Every fiber of your being and every sparkle of your soul, wherever it may take you. Hopefully not too far away.

I will always love you like this. Forever.


This was originally intended to only be a little ode to D, but it just so happens to fit in with a couple writing prompts. So I’m linking up at both Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop and Heather’s Just Write.



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