The End

July 24, 2012

2 words. So simple, yet so final.

And my reality in just 1 week’s time.

As of next Wednesday, August 1, I will be unemployed. Yep, that’s right. J-O-B-less.

Unfortunately, I now know what it feels like to be fired. Well, technically terminated, but still. I’m out of a job.

Here’s the scoop…

I work at a hedge fund, and in a nutshell we’ve lost all of our outside investors. I say outside because I think all of the Principals have some of their own money invested, but you can’t really run a business with the employee base we’ve been carrying based solely on funds from the Principals. You need outside dough coming in, and that is one thing we’ve been severely lacking for a couple years now.

So they made the hard decision to close down our main investment funds and return all outside investors’ capital. In plain English, we went broke.

Now here’s the thing. This was no surprise. Those of you who know me well know that we’ve been living through this possible scenario for the past 4 years. Thankfully I survived every round of downsizing and layoffs until the end, so I do take that as a sign of my worth and standing as an employee. This was due to no fault of my own, and the Principals had nothing but praises to sing about my intelligence, work ethic, qualifications, etc., when the hammer finally dropped and I learned my final date. So that makes me feel a little better about everything.

Still, though, it means the end of a paycheck. The end of 401k contributions. The end of 100% employer-paid health insurance and medical benefits. The end of working in an awesome building with a full cafeteria staff who cooked us breakfast and lunch every day. The end of year-end bonuses. The end of working with people who have become good friends over the last almost 8 years. The end of my career?

That last one is probably the one that scares me most. This is the only “real” type of job I’ve held since graduating college – finance. And now, after a decade, I’m out. And I honestly don’t know if I’ll want to get back in when the time comes. I’ll be off at least the rest of this year, for who wants to hire a 6+ months pregnant chick who they know will be off for about 3 months with a baby shortly after she starts work? Yeah that’s what I thought too – no one.

Thankfully everyone is receiving severance packages, including continued health insurance coverage. And they did throw me a bone since I’m knocked up and extended my insurance coverage through the end of January instead of through October like most have been receiving.

I was really hoping to get just a couple more months out of the deal, since people are being let go in waves – July, August, September, and December, with a very small group staying for 1 year to get everything wound down. End of September would have been ideal. But such is not the case. In speaking with the Principals when I was given my final date they did say there’s always the possibility they could start something back up with a pool of their money, in which case I am high on their list of people they’d want back, but I’m not holding my breath on that whatsoever. I’m fairly certain that when I pull out of the garage on July 31, that will be the last time I see most everyone who’s left.

It’s sad. I’m sad. I foresaw myself working there for the rest of my career, however long that was to be. And for as much as it tore me up to send Della to daycare at 5 months old, I actually hate having to take her out now. She talks about her friends there constantly, she loves the teachers, and we love what they do for the kids. I hope I can keep some semblance of a social routine up for her once she’s at home with me full time. I’ve been saving their weekly lesson plans for the past couple weeks for ideas of what to do, and I’m planning on keeping their daily schedule in tact as much as I can at home, but I’m not going to lie. I’m nervous.

I have no idea how to be a stay at home mom anymore. What if she hates being home with me all day? What if I have no idea what to teach her or how to teach her what she would’ve been learning at daycare? What if she drives me crazy? What if I drive her crazy? What if we drive each other crazy and Ryan comes home to find 2 heaps on the floor, dead from all the crazy?

And then there’s the whole issue of a new baby coming in October. Oh yeah, that!! Someone, anyone, please tell me how to simultaneously (and successfully, mind you) take care of a 2 year old and a newborn all day alone. That is probably the part that makes me most frightened. I don’t know how to do it! The other day I was trying to remember what we did with Della and having her go to daycare when she was born, and then I remembered – she WAS the one who was born. DUH!! See, my mind is already partially gone. How am I going to survive the double kid whammy?

So you see, times they are a-changin’ at our house. Whether for better or worse, I have no idea, but it was out of my control. So it’s just happening. Fortunately, with the severance we’ll be ok financially for awhile. Thank god. And I am hoping to pick up a little freelance work between now and when the baby’s born to help tide us over too.

For those who don’t know, I’m an excellent proofreader/editor. Please check out that JEditing button at the very bottom of the page to be taken to my website for a little more info. And if you need any proofreading/editing services, EMAIL ME! I’m not just being egotistical when I say I’m good. I really am.

If I could do proofreading/editing work indefinitely after the baby’s born this fall, that would be ideal. I like it, I’m very good at it, I love finishing a project and knowing I made it correct, and I could do it from home. And if I were to get enough hours doing that, we could always send the kids to daycare once or twice a week so I could get large chunks of time in to work. Ahh, pipe dreams.

So, my friends, my days as a working mom are numbered. Like I said, I have no idea how I’ll be as a stay at home mom now, but I guess we’ll find out in a few days. Wish me luck!




{ 18 comments… read them below or add one }

Rachel @ The Ongoing Planner July 24, 2012 at 7:30 am

That is definitely unfortunate about your job situation. Sounds like you have a pretty good plan in place, even if you aren’t sure how it will work out. I am interested to see how the transition from working mom to stay at home mom will be since you never know, I may end up in the same boat some day! Best of luck with everything!
Rachel @ The Ongoing Planner recently posted..Livin’ It Up


ScooterMarie July 25, 2012 at 8:22 am

Thank you, Rachel! I’m interested to see how this goes too!! 😉
ScooterMarie recently posted..The End


Katie C. July 24, 2012 at 8:26 am

good luck, girl, you are going to do great!


ScooterMarie July 24, 2012 at 3:38 pm

Thanks, Katie! I sure hope so!! 🙂
ScooterMarie recently posted..The End


Dad July 24, 2012 at 12:22 pm

Scoot, you guys’ll be fine: good things happen to good people. Life’s only constant is change, so relax. And as we’ve discussed, let me know what I can do. It might not be much, but if help is needed, even a small piece comes in handy. I don’t recall any of you three girls attending daycare, and most agree you’ve turned out quite nicely. Seek your mother’s counsel: she went through what you’re facing, not only surviving but doing a splendid job of raising The Fiddlers Three. And ah hepped (that is, from time to time). Ryan’s a great dad, and will help shoulder the load. As for the job, well, when one door closes ….

Love, Dad


ScooterMarie July 24, 2012 at 3:39 pm

Thanks, Dad!
ScooterMarie recently posted..The End


Suzanne @ The Wine{a}be July 24, 2012 at 1:36 pm

You are going to be a great stay-at-home mom! Why? Because you love your little girl. You don’t have to be Martha Frekin’ Stewart…all baking, cooking, cleaning and crafty, teaching, learning every minute of the day. You just have to sit on the floor with your little one and play with her, laugh with her, and hug her…and all will be fine. Will your house be a mess? Yes. Will you go stir crazy not talking to adults? Yes. Will you cry? probably. But, you will figure out how to get through it, how to pass time in the day with out losing your sanity, and you will find friends that stay home too. It will be ok! And, when your new precious baby comes…it will be another adjustment. You will figure it out…because you are a mom and your kids are counting on you. Us moms are a lot stronger and resilient than we thought. God doesn’t give us more than we can handle. You’ll be awesome! 😉 From one working mom turned stay-at-home mom to another. Hugs, ~S
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ScooterMarie July 24, 2012 at 3:42 pm

Thank you, Suzanne! Martha Stewart I certainly am not, ha! That’s why I’m hoping I can just keep her happy and learning as she needs to be. Then I’ll work on cleaning the house. 😉
ScooterMarie recently posted..The End


Christie July 24, 2012 at 4:04 pm

Change is always tough. It takes some time to get used to new situations and circumstances, but you will do just fine. Being a stay-at-home mom has its trying moments, but it is also super-fun. You’ll meet new moms, find a preschool, and settle into a new routine before you know it. Best of luck with the transition!
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ScooterMarie July 25, 2012 at 8:24 am

Thank you, Christie! The toughest part for me honestly, as odd as it may sound, is how Della will miss her friends at daycare. She says their names constantly. Hopefully she’ll make fast friends with the kids on our block to make not seeing her school friends anymore better. I’m sure she won’t care at all, just Mommy. 😉
ScooterMarie recently posted..The End


Jen Andrews July 24, 2012 at 4:23 pm

I’m very excited for your new journey in life!!! You have always been excellent at all you do and this will be no different! There are so many camps and activities I am sure you will find to keep the babes entertained, give you some 1 on 1 time, and hopefully a break cause you’ll need it. Remember how fast the time flies and how quickly they grow up! I know it’s hard but I think you will look back and see what a gift this was someday – maybe when they’re both in school 🙂 I’ll be thinking of your family. Keep us updated!


ScooterMarie July 25, 2012 at 8:29 am

Aw, thank you, Jen! I know, I’m sure this time at home will be over in the blink of an eye, and then I won’t want to go back to work at all if that does end up being the case. I’ve started making a list of things to do with Della before the baby comes too – zoo pass, our local library is just blocks from our house so we’ll walk over and check that out, parks in our neighborhood, stuff like that. Once #2 comes, however… Then I have no idea, ha!
ScooterMarie recently posted..The End


Courtney July 24, 2012 at 4:39 pm

What a bummer! So sorry to hear that. Good luck in your next move – be it a job or chasing the rugrats all day. I’m confident you can handle either with grace…and wine!


ScooterMarie July 25, 2012 at 8:30 am

Thanks, Courtney! I may send out an SOS email come October – SEND WINE!!! 🙂
ScooterMarie recently posted..The End


Jackie @ MomJovi July 25, 2012 at 12:12 pm

Oh man, that’s stressful. I can sort of feel your pain. My company lost all of its funding two weeks before I gave birth — but no one wanted to tell me til after E was born for fear of stressing me out. We were able to keep our company together but it was dodgy. Together, we decided for me to drop down to 10 hours a week that first year, and honestly, it was the best thing to ever happen to me. I never considered being a stay-at-home because we needed my income but somehow we found a way to make it work and I know there’s nothing that could ever match how much joy being home that first year brought me. Even now, I’m only back up to 30 hours a week, which has given me so much flexibility.

But here’s one suggestion I’d make — find a local mom’s group. I LOVE my mom’s club and even though I work M-Th, I’m still a part of it. I learned about so many cool things in my area that I never would have known about and made some incredible friends. Plus, it gave our days a lot of structure — there’s some kind of meet-up scheduled for every day. Some days it’s at a park, some days at a splash pad, some days it’s a recipe club for kids, others arts and crafts. It helped fill the playmates need for E as she got older and the I NEED TO TALK TO OTHER ADULTS urge for me!

Good luck! I know it’s really scary but you’ll crush it just like you do everything else!
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ScooterMarie July 26, 2012 at 7:58 am

Thanks, Jackie!! That moms group is an excellent suggestion. There are a number of moms with kids Della’s age on our block that get together for playdates a lot, so fortunately we have that literally in our own backyard. And I did buy a year-long family zoo pass, so I’m hoping to do that fairly often. She loves animals and we haven’t taken her there yet, so I have a feeling she’ll love it. I’m already making mental notes of what to do during the days, but I really need to just stop stressing and enjoy this time I’ve been given with her. Thank you, as always, for all your support!
ScooterMarie recently posted..The End


Claire September 6, 2012 at 9:40 am

I realize that I’m over a month too late to be posting on this, but what the hell- I’m doing it anyway. I’m so sorry that you had to lose your job in this way, even though it sounds like it’s happening in as painless a way as possible (all things considering). You are smart, capable and motivated and I don’t believe this is the end of your career. Perhaps of this particular career, but definitely not a life-sentence to staying home.

And, you’ll be great at being a SAHM. Yes, there will be times when the kids drive you crazy. And times when you drive them crazy. That’s when you get in the car and say, “Starbucks drive-thru for everybody!” (Oh, wait… is that just me?) But in general, it will be fine. Great, even.

I second the suggestion to find a moms group. I love mine! Even though I’m pretty much the only one left who actually has kids at home still, I love the friends I made through it and that they get me out of the house at night, without kids in tow. And when everyone else had kids at home too, it was great to have people to call and say, “Hey, my kids are going stir-crazy, play date?”

Finally, having two kids at home by yourself is not that hard. It’s hard at the start, but you get used to it really quickly. And I swear that in the blink of an eye you’ll have trouble remembering what it was like to only have one home.
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ScooterMarie September 12, 2012 at 9:13 am

Thanks, Claire!! We’re about a month and a half into this staying home gig, and honestly, it’s been fantastic. I learn more about Della daily, which is so awesome. And completely priceless. She’s a wonderful kid, and I really do love spending all this time with her. And (not surprisingly) I don’t miss my job at all! Well, the paychecks, yes, but the daily grind, not so much. I haven’t looked at the stock market or financial news once since I left, and it feels great.

Fortunately I’ve learned our block has a ton of kids and SAHMs on it, so they have been a wonderful group to connect with. I can’t believe we haven’t gotten to know our own neighbors better in the 6 years we’ve lived here until now! But thankfully we are, so D loves playing with the kids too.

I really hope you’re right about the 2 kids at home thing, too, ha! I may come asking for some tips in a few weeks here… 😉


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